The struggle is real

People all the time tell me "there's nothing wrong with you.......you're too outgoing to be bipolar". That my friend, is where you are wrong. Being bipolar doesn't have to show "outward" signs. Its a MENTAL illness meaning symptoms can hit you out of nowhere and leave you asking "what the hell just happened here?". If properly medicated and monitored like so many utterly REFUSE (myself in the past included) to do it can leave devastating and in some cases irreparable damage. I know I was unmedicated for 2 whole years without any problem and all of a sudden it struck me down like a hellbound runaway freight train. And im here to tell you.......it doesn't get much lower than that. Bipolar isn't a "catch all" to mental illnes and it damn sure ain't something that people should take lighthearted either. People with bipolar have every day problems that most people don't realize.......we may look like everyone else on the outside but we aren't.  Yes, I have the inner "demons" if you will that claw to get out but I don't let them. I know with my own experiences of being bipolar I have alot of joint pain and fatigue but also I try not to let it define me. I take my medications now religiously for the last week and a half and I have learned to do deep breathing if a situation becomes stressful for me. I still listen to my music and all of that but  I also use my coping skills as well. I know I'm not society's picture of "normal", I get that but I'm not out to please society.........that's a farce within its self anyway. I am put on this earth to help others and thru that to pass along information. Hopefully I fufill my life's purpose and do that. That's all I have for tonight's post.......peace and love to all.

Living with Bipolar Disorder

As promised here is the third installment of bipolar recovery and living with bipolar. So it has been 2 days since I blogged and I apologize about that but yesterday was hectic for me as I had 6 teeth extracted of 7 that were supposed to be. To catch you up on the high points of yesterday.........went very well. Had lunch with a friend that is very near and dear to my heart and then we went to the dental extraction clinic where I was worked on for 2 and a half hours. I honestly didnt mind the wait. I feel much better since the extractions to say the least. Fast forward to today........I went and volunteered at the church in which I help with the food bank monday and tuesday mornings. I love doing that. I feel as if I am giving back to the community by doing that. I am on day 7 of my bipolar medications and doing quite well on them (no bad side effects) unless you consider being the old medicayed me a side effect. I done some phone calls that I needed to do to ensure I don't "slip thru the cracks" again. Made sure my bases were covered with my new psychiatrist and also my general medicine doctor. Also called to see if I could speak to the manager of one place I know I could work at. In all honesty, if im working I don't have the time to dwell on the fact that I am bipolar. I want to get my life back on track and im taking the "reins" and steering my life back in the right direction this time. I have a very strong support system that all bipolar patients should have in their lives. They ask how I'm doing, they ask if I remembered to take my medications and they reassure me that if I need to talk they are there to listen. Thats one thing im grateful to them for. I have a very loving boyfriend in my life that understands what it means to be bipolar with multiple diagnoses as well as he is in the same boat as me. We have ALMOST the same diagnoses and thats rare that we understand each other's high and low points with this disorder. Not many times will you find that in couples. Most of the time one or the other has bipolar and the other doesn't. I also want to take the time to say if you are suffering from bipolar or major depression you are not alone. If you feel like you are at the end of your rope I encourage you to reach out to someone whether it be myself or a medical professional.  You are NOT alone in this battle. I hope this blog post has helped you and inspired you in some way. I must close for the nighr but remember...........I care for and pray for each and every one of my readers and followers. Good night and god bless. More to come tomorrow.

Medication management

Its day number 5 on my bipolar medications and no adverse side effects. Im thankful for that atleast. Medication management is very important for bipolar patients. Also it's very confusing if you have different times a day you have to take medications. My best suggestion for that would be to get a multi-compartment pill box and set an alarm for yourself on your phone or alarm clock or however you choose to be reminded. Most of us bipolar patients say it's too much trouble to keep up with our medications and that causes our relapse and lands us into the hospital and us being there for many days or sometimes weeks. As for my ritual of taking my meds is as follows........when I wake up in the mornings(usually around 630 or 7) I do my normal routine and then make something to eat so I can take my medications and then at noon I take my medications and then at night about 45 minutes before I go to bed I take my night doses of medication. It also helps for loved ones to remind you. They arent trying to be bossy but only looking out for you. Enough for today. Hope this post helps you. Talk more tomorrow.

First blog about how im doing

Since this is my first blog I will give you some background about my diagnosis.........I was originally diagnosed bipolar type 2 10 years ago. I had attempted suicide after being diagnosed with post-partum depression after having my first child. Original diagnosis was October 25,2005. Spent a week in a psych hospital in Rockford, Illinois. Spent a week in a psych ward in Hagerstown, Maryland as well after another suicide attempt in May of 2009 as well. Im writing this blog a day after I was released from yet another psych ward here in Birmingham, Alabama.......stayed in there for 3 days for ideation.......that's what happens when you are severely depressed and have bipolar. As of today im taking medications to help control the symtoms of depression and also the bipolar symptoms. I almost lost everything during this last episode. Im seeking psychiatric help as we speak. Hope this blog helps other people battling bipolar as well. If you are dealing with bipolar just know you are not alone. There are places that can help you.